April 2010

April 5th: A lot of what I just told ya last week is very different now. First of all my Track meet was a lot of fun. It was so Awesome throwing just the javelin and not having to do anything else. I did really good considering that this was my first track meet being in college and not have thrown hard for 6 weeks I threw 139, taking 4th, place. 1st place threw 144, 2nd threw 141, so I was really close. After the track meet I left with my family to go home for conference. *Dates got flipped on the pictures!

Being home was so good. I got my history of creativity project done, spent time with my horse, and watched Conference. Conference was really good, nothing big really stood out to me, but I stayed a wake for the whole thing. For some reason when I was home I was snappy and on edge .. kind of angry. Sunday morning, I woke up dreaming about Chris and wanting him to come back, but kind of felt like that would never happen. I did tell him not to talk to me or anything. The whole ride home I really started missing him and thinking of ways that by random chance we might see each other and then there was the thought of "what if he doesn't like me like that any more!" I was almost depressed. 

When I got back I was all alone and started looking at his picture and then I kind of cried a little. I kept telling myself not to and that I was just being stupid and that I need to move on.  It is kind of funny to think about because I have been just fine the whole week and haven't had problems until then then... while I was looking at my computer missing Chris, I got a random phone call from Chris!! I was so excited, I was not expecting that and I knew right then what he was calling for. We talked for about 15 min. just

about what we have been doing lately and then he told me that he had something to tell me and that he is outside. I was so excited, I didn't even have make up on, and I didn't even care. When I got out there we gave each other a big hug and then we went for a walk. He told me how he has been living in a "Emotional Hell"! He said that was probably the worst thing he has had to go through. It made me happy to hear that because then I knew that what I had done was for a purpose and wasn't all for nothing. I was So excited to hear him say these things. We talked about everything and made things clear. He told me that he knows that he has problems with dating and asked me to be patient with him. I don't think that I stopped smiling the whole time. We eventually held hands. WE ARE BACK!!  He reassured me how he does not like Natali and just a lot that I can't even hardly remember. The whole night I was being so talkative, probably from being so happy, I probably told him way too much of what had been going through my head. We walked to this swing and I got on the swing. We stayed there and just talked and joked around and then he kissed me.  After being frozen, I gave him a big hug and then we left to go back.  I didn't want to leave him. It is all so crazy though just last week I broke up with him completely and now we are back together ... Kissing! We haven't kissed for a month or even held hands. The only people that know about us is my roommates and Aspen. I don't want anyone else to know, especially my family because they were proud of me for going through with it last week. They would think that I am crazy! I think that I will just keep it on the DL for awhile. I invited him to go to the Awards Assembly Dance with me. He told me he wants to, but work might not let him. He said that he really wants to see me especially when I am leaving on Thursday to go to Arizona and won't be back until Saturday. I am so excited, hopefully I will get tan haha. I am just So happy knowing that Chris missed me and hasn't thought about anything else really over the week and he even went to Moab with his family. I just hope things are fun and not stressful between us. We are definitely communicating a lot better now, hopefully it will stay that way. He told me that I have made him express what he is feeling and thinking more than any other girl! Yess! What a Great Day!

April 8th: Today is Thursday and the past couple of days have been the best days ever. Chris is so awesome! He keeps sending me messages like to"good night Sweet cheeks, I want to be with you. He's been really cute. Yesterday him and I went to the Athlete Awards Assembly. It was semi formal, So I wore my black straight dress. I had so much fun with him. Thinking about him is the only thing that makes me

feel good right now on the plane. It has just been so good with him and not awkward, we are both just

forward and open with each other. I don't want to say it, but I could almost say that I love him. I hope he feels the same way. After the dance we went to the store and then to his apartment to eat. The whole time holding hands and hugging ... I love it ! He then took me home, gave me a good kiss and then I went

to bed.

Today I woke up early, took my project to turn it in, and then went to practice. On my way to practice, I ran into Chris. He came and gave me a good hug and we talked for a second then left. Later I got a message from him saying the he would have kissed me but didn't know if I wanted it in public. I told him that I wouldn't have cared one bit. Oh man, I just remembered how much I hate air ports and planes. At the air port I was ready to cry.  First of all I stumbled up in the bus to get out and hit my head really hard. I am feeling it now. Then in the airport I was behind everyone. I was scared as it was because this is my first away track meet. I felt like I didn't have any of my friends with me. Going through security, I got beeped on so I had to go in a room and get checked ... It was my bobby pins, then my bag got stopped because of my sunscreen and other bottles. They ended up throwing them away. I was so frustrated. When I caught up to my team I was just so ready to just cry. Now on the plane, I do not like the going up part makes my head hurt, and all of the up and down motions make me feel sick. I am still really excited for Arizona, I don't want to get burned though. Hopefully I do good with the Javelin too. I am nervous and Ally just makes me feel stupid. She doesn't get nervous.  She kind of intimidates me! I am so glad that my parents are going, makes me feel better. It is stupid, but I already miss Chris. Anyway wish me luck! The one good thing that happened on the airplane was that I get to talk to this guy (in his 45 yr) we talked about everything. He asked me about my family and then while I was reading my scriptures he asked me what

I was reading. We from there started talking about religion. I pretty much bore my testimony to him. It was really neat, I have never done that before. Once we got off the plane we drove to our hotel. I had a head ache for 3 hours after the plane. Once we got to our hotel. I went with four other girls to go eat. We spent an hour driving around trying to find the restaurant and once we found it, it was only 5 min away from our hotel! 

April 18th:  It is still finals week and I am surviving them, I only have two more left. I will be done by Wednesday. The only thing that is not going very well right now it track. I still love it and have tons of fun, but I have been doing horrible in the Javelin. For the past couple of weeks I haven't thrown further than 130. This weekend I am going to do better, I am going to practice really hard and have confidence that I can do it! For the past couple of weeks with Chris, it has been wonderful! I really like him ... I think I "Love" him! We still have never said it! But our kisses say it practically. We are definitely not just doing pecks any more. I have never been so happy with him and the best part is that I can tell that he likes me and wants to be with me just as much. Our communication is really good, we tell each other everything. 

I finally called Marla and Jenell to tell them that I was dating Chris again. They were shocked but like him, they just care about me so much and want me to have the best. Jenell really wants us to come down and I mentioned it to Chris and he is all for it. So Sometime we might be attempting going to my house again. Hopefully it will be better for Chris this time, unlike last time. I am just so happy with him right now! I have no idea what's going to happen with us in the future, we are just both going with the flow. I think he is happy too and really cares about me. I can't wait for finals to be done and throwing the Javelin to get better and go home with Chris and have a blast! 

April 26th: This past week has been really good. I finished up with finals, not doing as well as I hoped, but finished! I've been helping Chris and his roommates clean out and I had a home track meet that went really well. I only threw about 137, but it's improving, this next week should be a lot better. I was happy about Chris and my parents coming to watch me. My new roommate moved in, it should be fun getting to know her Her name is Ashton. I really do miss Mary though!! On Saturday morning, Chris and I left to go down to my home. Chris came down cause him and his roommates were all homeless for the weekend. It was really fun having him come down, very different, but good. I think that our relationship has grown stronger from it. My family all likes him and I think Chris could definitely tell this time. Even my dad said he liked him just was concerned if he showed me enough affection. That made both Chris and I laugh when I told him. On Saturday when we got there. We played with the kids for awhile, then Chris and I went riding horses. It was fun and Chris was definitely not a pro, but he got the hang of it. After riding, we both took showers and got ready for a ward BBQ. The BBQ was was fun  I was happy to see a lot of "old" friends. Chris mostly played with the kids. He is SO good with kids and it wasn't just an act or a show. A lot of the people would come over to us and tease me about Finally dating someone. Later I had to rescue Chris from all the kids and we walked home. That night we played Rooke against Mom and Deric. It was Chris's first time, so we lost the first game horribly but then won the second time. So Sunday night we played for the championship. Deric a Mom won! Sunday we just went to church, which definitely felt weird having a boyfriend there with me. I don't know if I am quite ready for this. It was good seeing Aspen, I have missed that girl. She said that she approves of Chris! After church we ate hamburgers and french fries, then played with the girls.  After Playing with them which felt like forever,  Chris and I got a blanket and took a nap in the backyard. We were both Super tired. We had a tooth brushing party before we went to bed and then give each other a good night kiss. Monday morning at 5:30 I went and woke Chris up for b-ball with JD. I think he had fun but it was definitely way too early. When he got back, he came and woke me up and then we went downstairs to eat breakfast. After eating we took showers, got ready, said our good byes, and then left. Once we got back I have been unpacking, while him and his roommates came and got their stuff from my apartment to move into there new apartment.  Now I am just waiting to go to weightlifting and practice at 4.